Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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