jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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