I skipped work to stalk him.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
