I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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