I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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