so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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