i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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