420 ftw
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
