I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
