Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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