she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
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A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
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We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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