STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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