I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
