Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
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