This house was built for laser tag.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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