i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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