I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
