just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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