I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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