If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
