she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize