areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
