Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
