so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
