I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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