I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
