The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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