my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
