"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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