I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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