what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He kissed a someone with a penis
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
