i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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