He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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