I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
