i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
