He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize