Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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