She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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