This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
