"it" just moved
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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