she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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