You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
