She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
