Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
last night I used snow as a chaser
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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