So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
