You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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