What did we do last night that was yellow?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
