Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
