he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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