i can't believe i had my finger in that
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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