hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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