last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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