we're blogging at a bar
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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