final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
