i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
