I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
