i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
