I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
