Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
