There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
