help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
