I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
