i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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